Having depression is like wearing a dark
pair of sunglasses. It starts to color your worldview and suddenly everything
can feel very hollow and hopeless. You might find that things which used to
bring you joy, now are met with a deep sense of numbness. Your thoughts may
begin to get increasingly negative. You might wonder what the purpose or
meaning of life is.
Unfortunately, many people who are
struggling, may not even realize it. If they do recognize it, it can be tough
to know what to do. There is no guidebook for how to cope, when small tasks
feel like they take Herculean efforts.
As a therapist in private practice in
Rockville, Maryland, the following are four tips for coping if you are
struggling with depression.
1. Reach out for help from
a professional.
Depression is a serious mental illness.
However, it’s also highly treatable. If you are struggling with depression,
it’s so important that you reach out for help from a professional. Look for a
therapist, psychiatrist, or doctor, in your area who you can reach out to.
Seeking help is a sign of true strength, not weakness. If your
depression is telling you that you don’t deserve to get help, please do not
listen to it. Like an abusive partner, your depression wants you to stay
trapped. However, all people who are suffering deserve to seek help and
support. You don’t have to continue to feel this hopeless and alone.
2. Recognize the stories
that your mind is telling you.
We all have thousands of thoughts per
day. However, not everything that we think is a fact. When you are struggling
with depression, often your thoughts become increasingly pessimistic and
negative.
The first step is starting to be aware of
the stories that you are telling yourself. After you are able to recognize the
stories, you can focus on some more helpful “healthy self,” coping statement
that you can tell yourself.
3. Do an “opposite action.”
A dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT)
skill that I love is called “opposite action.” When someone is struggling with
depression, often they feel the urge to isolate from others, to stay in bed,
and to avoid certain situations. If this is the case, it’s important to push
yourself to take “opposite action.” For instance, if you are feeling like
isolating, you could consider calling or texting a friend or family member to
spend time together. If you are experiencing the urge to stay in bed, think
about an activity that you could go do.
Your depression may cause you to not
“feel like” socializing or going outside. However, it’s important to take these
actions to boost your mood-even if you don’t “feel like it” initially.
4. Practice
self-compassion.
“Beating yourself up” for experiencing
depression, will only serve to make you feel even worse. It’s not your fault
that you are suffering from depression. Mental illnesses are not a choice. No
one would choose to isolate themselves from people they care about, to feel
hopeless and numb, and to struggle with getting out of bed or leaving the
house.
It’s so important to be kind to yourself
and to recognize that you are not certainly alone in struggling with
depression.
Think about some nice self-care
activities that you can do for yourself and work to try to speak to yourself
compassionately, as you would a good friend who was suffering.
There Is Hope
It may not feel like it right now when
the voice of depression is especially loud, however I want you to know that
things can and will get better.
Please reach out for help, as no one
should have to struggle with depression alone. With access to the right
treatment and support you can learn how to cope-and even thrive.
You are so
much stronger
than you think.
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